Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I am woman, hear the voices in my head roar (haircut less than 100)

A whole bunch of songs ("Smoke on the Water", "So Alive", "My Love", "Hands of Time", "Saturday Night", "Turning Japanese", "Invasion of the Gabber Robots", "Badger Badger Badger", "I Like Chinese") have been infesting my brain the past few days.

It was only a matter of time before the 1980s reared its ugly head in my head. For unbelievably obscure reasons, the infestation in this case was a hair band power ballad classic.

Remember that I am over 40, so the hair band craze occurred when I was well into my so-called adulthood. I was already living in Southern California, and the local music magazines were rife with hair extension advertisements for men. Because that was the look at the time - get a man to wear a lot of makeup like a girl, and wear his hair like a girl, and then the teenage girls' hearts would melt. Unfortunately, with the exception of Axl Rose, most of these men issued dreck in the name of music.

Glad that doesn't happen today.

So I had this hair band power ballad in my head, but I couldn't remember which of these dudes sang this touching anthem. Frankly, I couldn't remember much of the anthem, with the exception of the chorus.

How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone?

So which of these guys sang this song, and how many umlauts were in his band's name?

Quoting Jim Bakker, I was wrong. Sure the lead singer wore makeup like a girl and sang like a girl, but that's because the lead singer was Ann Wilson, of Heart. The song, "Alone." The album, Bad Animals. Here's what Darth Kommissar (Rock me now Kenobi?) had to say about it

Bad Animals is a solid entry into the Heart catalogue, but it is not one of the group's stronger releases. The record company must have realized just how successful the power ballads on the 1985 album, because for the most part, that's what this album consists of. The thing I liked about the 1985 release is that it showed the band doing pretty much everything every band in the eighties was doing - hard rockers and power ballads alike. I was hoping for Bad Animals to be like that, too, but sadly it isn't. Bad Animals features power ballad overkill. This is obviously one of the group's most commercial efforts, trying drastically to appeal to the masses with their ballads. More likely than not, this was record company pressure that led the band to do this, so I don't blame the band. And all of this is besides the point of the music. Although I'm not too crazy that the band recorded an album of almost nothing but power ballads, the fact of the matter is that this are damn good power ballads. Heart knew how to make good ones! Among them is the classic Alone, which went onto become one of the group's biggest hit....

The group's biggest hit, and I didn't even know they sang it. Oops. Gimme "Barracuda."

Danged kids.


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STAG said...

I am waiting for your interview with Bono, but, you know, how could it be any weirder than the ones that are out there now.

Ontario Emperor said...

I love U2. In the 80s, they were on the road to becoming a huge, overpowering, anthemic, MEANINGFUL rock band, and ever since that time they've done their darndest to poke holes in their own image (what was that video in which Edge was singing?). Yet at the same time, they (or at least Bono) is motivated by some of those early sentiments. Makes for an interesting picture.

Jennifer said...

Arrrrgh! That line will be stuck up there all day now!!!

Ontario Emperor said...

I could resurrect "Wanted Dead or Alive" if you like.