Frank Zappa and the Mothers were at the best poker table around

No, this post is not deep, nor is it purple.

And it ain't even Swiss.

But it acknowledges that if any blogger wants to engage in shameless self-promotion, the path has already been created by Cindy Margolis.

My previous primary blog was Cindy Margolisless, but that restriction didn't apply to my other blogs. My fake radio station included the dialogue of an ersatz interview between myself and Ms. Margolis. Her comments are (naturally) in ALL CAPS. Excerpt below.

...WELL, O, AS YOU KNOW, I CONQUER EVERY FIELD THAT I ENTER. SO NOW IT'S TIME TO BEGIN MY RECORDING CAREER!

Your recording career?

YES. THIS PARIS WOMAN, WHO PROBABLY CAN'T PLAY POKER AS WELL AS ME, OBVIOUSLY CAN'T SING AS WELL AS ME, EITHER! MY SONG WILL NOT ONLY GO TO NUMBER ONE, BUT IT WILL GO INTO MINUS FIGURES!

Well, at least you get points for good taste. What's the song about?

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S ABOUT?

I have no idea.

IT'S ABOUT ME, ONTARIO! THE SONG IS "THE CINDY MARGOLIS SONG," WHICH IS THE BEST TITLE EVER FOR A SONG, DON'T YOU THINK?

I'm partial to "Yuma Starvation" myself, but that's just me. So you really think this song is good?

OF COURSE IT IS! LISTEN TO IT:

[sample of opening guitar from "Smoke on the Water"]

CINDY M, CIN CINDY M
CINDY M, SUPERSTAR!
CINDY M, CIN CINDY M
CINDY M, SUPERSTAR!
CINDY M, CIN CINDY M
CINDY M, SUPERSTAR!

[recording stops]

Are there any verses, or just the chorus?

HEY! WHY DID YOU STOP THE SONG? IT WAS JUST GETTING STARTED!

Well, are there any verses?

NO. WHY WOULD WE NEED VERSES?

So it just repeats "Cindy M superstar" over and over again?

YES IT DOES. CATCHY, DON'T YOU THINK?

Um...how long is this song?

NINETY TWO MINUTES AND FORTY SIX SECONDS.

Ninety two minutes and forty six seconds?

YES. THIS SONG TAKES THE RECORD FOR THE LONGEST SINGLE EVER! MUCH LONGER THAN THAT "HEY JUDE" SONG FROM THOSE GUYS FROM ENGLAND. THEY WERE OVERRATED; THEY NEVER POSED IN PLAYBOY.

Um, Cindy?

YES, ONTARIO?

If the song is over an hour and a half long, it's not going to fit on a standard CD. How will you release it?

WELL, THAT'S THE MAGIC PART, ONTARIO. ALL OF THE CD PLAYER MANUFACTURERS AND DISC MANUFACTURERS ARE GOING TO CHANGE THEIR STANDARD FORMATS BECAUSE OF ME!...

That was probably one of the best things I wrote at KOER, although this one about the "Mysterious Ways" author was good too.

cindymargolis

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