When "over the top" lands you at the bottom

Do you ever receive a communication that reeks of insincerity?

I just received an email this morning that includes the following:

We need your help with a very important research study that is scheduled to be finished within the next few days.

As a leading decision maker of your company, you are part of a very powerful reference group. Your opinions on various products you use do matter to and can influence your co-workers, family, friends, peers and others in a wider sphere.

Specifically, we are conducting a survey regarding business travel. Your opinions will help to identify the best hotels and rental car companies in North America.

Well, inasmuch as I am a leading decision maker in my company, and part of a very powerful reference group, I must assume that Davey reads my blog. (Yes, I know it's published under a pseudonym, but there's no such thing as a pseudonym.) So, rather than bothering with the survey thingie, I'll just answer Davey here.

Dear Davey,

Since my company constrains my choice of hotels, and severely constrains my choice of rental cars, I can't really help you with that email that you sent to me at 7:15 last night. (Wow, that's 9:15 Central Time. Must have been working late, huh?) But hey, I'll be in San Francisco in a couple of weeks, if you happen to be there also. (And no, I'm not renting a car. Are you crazy, Davey?)

By the way, this survey was not conducted by Forrester Research, but for all I know they have an email that's just as insincere.

You know, I've received my share of silly e-mails over time. Now I'm wondering if there's a website or blog that collects them. If so, I should start contributing.

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