Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Mongoloid, the Portgrass Oregano version

Several years ago I threw away all of my cassette tapes.

That's probably a good thing, because I not only threw away a vast music collection (including the first tape I ever purchased, John Lennon's Walls and Bridges), but also several tapes that I made during my years at Reed College, either on my own or with various college roommates.

For some unknown reason, my mind flashed upon one song from one of those tapes a few minutes ago. It was made with a roommate who shall remain nameless, primarily because he now has a PhD and is presumably pictured as a pillar of the scientific community. We borrowed some musical instruments from a third college roommate and slapped a few songs together. My favorite was our musical arrangement of "Kill Bond Now!" I also hold a warm spot for our Tri-Met (at the time, a bus system in Portland) version of "A Day in the Life" - my roommate contributed the line "He didn't notice that the fare had changed."

Ironically, I was reading Barry Miles' book on Paul McCartney a few minutes ago when a song from that cassette flashed through my mind - not our Beatles parody, but our Devo parody. If I remember correctly, I was the one who came up with the new lyrics for "Mongoloid." Two things require explanation:

  • "Theaters Three" was the name of another cassette that I had assembled, on my own. Years upon years later, after I got tired of my BBS handle of Wasp the Houseboy, I adopted Theo Tres Thr3 as a pseudonym, then eventually junked that and became Ontario Emperor.

  • Ironically, that cassette name was unrelated to The Theatrical Event, which happened to be the name of a textbook that the third college roommate was using. He ended up majoring in theater, but he had the good taste not to be performing as I sang the words below.
So, without further ado...

Mongoloid, he was a mongoloid
And he looked just like me
He had no hair, and his head was air
He played for Theaters Three

And he...walked on water
And he...drank a lot of beer
And "The Theatrical Event"
And he...he wasn't queer

Mongoloid, he was a mongoloid...

Hey, it was college. And at least my youthful banterings didn't get posted in News of the World.

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