Storm Watch 2008

And here it is in text format:

CAZ048-260945-
SAN BERNARDINO AND RIVERSIDE COUNTY VALLEYS-THE INLAND EMPIRE-
1036 AM PST TUE NOV 25 2008

FLASH FLOOD WATCH IN EFFECT FROM 6 PM PST THIS EVENING THROUGH
WEDNESDAY EVENING

REST OF TODAY
PARTLY CLOUDY WITH SCATTERED SHOWERS. HIGHS
64 TO 72. LIGHT WINDS BECOMING WEST 15 MPH IN THE AFTERNOON.
CHANCE OF MEASURABLE PRECIPITATION 30 PERCENT.

TONIGHT
RAIN AND SLIGHT CHANCE OF THUNDERSTORMS. RAIN MAY BE
HEAVY AT TIMES OVERNIGHT. LOWS 49 TO 57. LIGHT WINDS.

WEDNESDAY
RAIN AND SLIGHT CHANCE OF THUNDERSTORMS IN THE
MORNING...THEN CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND SLIGHT CHANCE OF
THUNDERSTORMS IN THE AFTERNOON. RAIN MAY BE HEAVY AT TIMES IN THE
MORNING. HIGHS 60 TO 65. WINDS SOUTH 15 MPH IN THE MORNING
BECOMING LIGHT.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT
MOSTLY CLOUDY IN THE EVENING...BECOMING PARTLY
CLOUDY. CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND SLIGHT CHANCE OF THUNDERSTORMS.
LOWS 47 TO 53. LIGHT WINDS. CHANCE OF MEASURABLE PRECIPITATION
50 PERCENT.

THANKSGIVING DAY
PARTLY CLOUDY WITH A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS
AND THUNDERSTORMS. HIGHS 61 TO 66. LIGHT WINDS. CHANCE OF
MEASURABLE PRECIPITATION 20 PERCENT.

THURSDAY NIGHT
PARTLY CLOUDY. LOWS 46 TO 52.

FRIDAY
PARTLY CLOUDY. HIGHS 64 TO 70.

FRIDAY NIGHT
PARTLY CLOUDY IN THE EVENING...BECOMING MOSTLY
CLEAR. LOWS 45 TO 52.

SATURDAY
MOSTLY SUNNY. HIGHS 66 TO 72.

SATURDAY NIGHT
MOSTLY CLEAR. LOWS 46 TO 54.

SUNDAY
MOSTLY SUNNY. WINDY. HIGHS 68 TO 75.

SUNDAY NIGHT
MOSTLY CLEAR. WINDY. LOWS 45 TO 54.

MONDAY
MOSTLY SUNNY. HIGHS 69 TO 76.

Now this is the point when the rest of the country laughs at our local news stations as they go into "Storm Watch 2008" mode. Here is the popular perception of how our local stations cover this earth-shattering event:

PAUL: OK, we're going to go out to Amanda Jones, who is live on-scene just outside our Burbank studios.

AMANDA: Paul, can you hear me?

PAUL: Yes, we can hear you, Amanda. What are the current weather conditions?

AMANDA: Well, Paul, I just felt a drop of water on my nose.

PAUL: A drop of water? We'd better toss it over to Fritz for expert commentary.

FRITZ: Well, Paul, if you take a look at our Universal Super Dopplr Map 4000, you can see these big blobs of green. One of those blobs generated the water drop which hit Amanda.

PAUL: Yes, you heard it here first. Stay tuned for all of the late-breaking news related to...

JAMES EARL JONES: STORM WATCH 2008.

To be fair to us, there are some ramifications here that don't necessarily affect people in other parts of the country.

• First and foremost, Southern California is desert. I know it doesn't look like it's desert, but it is. This means that when it rains hard, the ground can only absorb some of the water. And the water that can't be absorbed ends up running all over the place, causing people to drown in the streets. I'm not kidding.


• Second, you may have heard that we had some fires here over a week ago. So there are various areas with nice, denuded hills with no vegetation and a lot of ash. Picture what happens when storm water starts running THERE.

However, in my case I have a more personal concern - namely, the fact that my driveway slopes downhill toward my garage.

I'm leaving work early today to round up sandbags.

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