Friday, August 24, 2007

Jonathan Lee Riches Jumps the Shark on a Non-Broadcast Zoo

Someone needs to tell Dreadnaught that Jonathan Lee Riches has officially jumped the shark.

It happened on a zoo radio show. Well, not a radio show, since it's a podcast. But it's a zoo nevertheless.

Spawned from the dimented mind of producer Cris Italia the Chaos Radio Show features Heide, Alix and Rhodian, three distinct personalities talk about every subject imaginable but they specialize in making their listeners cringe. With topics from fetish porn to zombie invasions, the trio usually delivers the most shocking points of view imaginable. In a nutshell, Chaos Radio is explicit talk, comedy, sex, horror, and pop culture for adults only. Visit us at: Or call us at: 206-888-4784"cutting edge," doesn't it? Whenever you refer to a living, breathing human being as a "personality," you know that something bad is going to happen.

So guess what they did in the 63rd installment of their show?

Heide discussed her rendezvous across enemy lines, how she jinxed herself by telling a pant-crapping story, and Cris declares Lunatic Radio the losers of the Radio War. Heide’s story inspired Alix, Rhodian, and Cris to share their own urgent poop stories.

No, no, not that part. The part that came later.

We invited our listeners to send fan mail to that wacky guy, Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently bringing lawsuits against Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Bud Selig…and Hank Aaron’s bat.

Wow, I bet that was a wacky installment. It probably sounded something like this:

CRIS: Hey, have you heard about that wacky guy in South Carolina?

HEIDE: What?

CRIS: Where were you?

HEIDE: I was pooping.

ALIX: Well, I hope you didn't go out on the lawn!

(Bad sound effect)

RHODIAN: That's wacky!

CRIS: I was talking about a wacky guy in South Carolina.

RHODIAN: Where's that?

ALIX: It's next to North Carolina.

HEIDE: Yeah, it's north of North Carolina.

(Bad sound effect)

CRIS: Anyway, this guy's in prison, and he's suing everybody!

HEIDE: Did he sue Cris for hiding Tattoo's porn stash?

(Bad sound effect)

ALIX: Is that the guy who sued Michael Vick?

("Who let the dogs out" bad sound effect)

CRIS: Yeah, that's the one.

RHODIAN: And he sued Barry Bonds too.

CRIS: But - and get this, guys - he also sued Hank Aaron's bat!

HEIDE: And I think he sued the Magna Carta.

ALIX: What? He sued Magnum, P.I.?

(Bad sound effect)

CRIS: Yeah, he's filed a whole bunch of lawsuits.

ALIX: That's wacky.

RHODIAN: Really wacky.

Distresing. I don't know if it happened like that, but it was probably close.

And if Jonathan Lee Riches is already a point of discussion on zoo radio, it's only a matter of time before he's being discussed in...

...I shudder to think of it...


I'm buying beachfront property in Megiddo now.

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yojoe said...

Yes, the JLR may have jumped. But, his cases will continue to be transcribed and posted at Dreadnaught. If only because I continue to get a kick out of reading and transcribing his complaints. He is, after all, the Tigerwoods of the cyberhood.


Ontario Emperor said...

Without the endorsement deals, the physical prowess, or the mental concentration.

yojoe said...

Be careful or the JLR may sue all of the IE.