Monday, March 24, 2008

The latest Superdelegate from Extreme Mortman

The Extreme Mortman blog has been running a series entitled "Meet your Superdelegates," a series which, in the blog's words,

A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film.

Well, heck, we know that Hollywood is a Democratic front anyway, so it's not surprising that so many of the cinema elites are trying to choose the next President of the United States. However, I have to confess that I was not aware that these particular people were superdelegates to the 2008 Democratic convention.

Take the latest featured Superdelegate, Senator John (Bluto) Blutarsky:

John “Bluto” Blutarsky is an abject, drunken degenerate with a style all his own. After seven years of college at Faber, sporting a GPA of 0.0, he goes on to become a United States Senator.

Extreme Mortman then analyzes the statements of Senator Blutarsky to determine whether he would be an Obama or a Clinton supporter. In this case, E.M. figured that the Senator would be a Clinton supporter, but I think he's wrong on this one.

  • Senator Blutarsky is a modern Senator, not a retread of old ideas. Even during his college days in the early 1960s, it almost seemed like Blutarsky had a '70s outlook. Don't know why, but I just feel that.

  • Senator Blutarsky confesses his mistakes. Now anyone else who had a 0.0 GPA would probably remain silent about it, but Blutarsky has never been shy about talking about his past history. In fact, millions of people are very familiar with it.

  • Most importantly, Blutarsky has a modern attitude toward race, as evidenced by his strong relationship with Otis Day. In fact, I suspect that if he had accompanied his fraternity brothers on the road trip, things would have gone a lot more smoothly.
So, I'm going to declare it - Senator John Blutarsky is an Obama man!

Of course, if Blutarsky openly supports Obama, then I doubt that Carl Icahn will do so, since Icahn doesn't care for frat boys.

It is essential to the future of Motorola that its directors realize that the BOARD, especially at this precarious time, is NOT A COUNTRY CLUB OR A FRATERNITY, and that truly "qualified" people whose interests are truly aligned with Stockholders, are needed on the Board in order to save Motorola....

Now I'll admit that I've heard a lot of stories about businesses having insider groupthink and the like, but the picture of a company's Board of Directors as a bunch of frat boys is kind of unnerving.

And the fraternities (in this case, a Stanford fraternity) argue that the "Animal House" images of the rowdy Delta House and the stuffy Omega House are stereotypes:

Since moving into 592 Mayfield one year ago, Phi Kappa Psi has sponsored two blood drives, at which we achieved a participation rate from our residents that was greater than 98 percent. Having a convenient and central meeting space in our house has helped immeasurably in putting on the Phi Psi 500, held in conjunction with Kappa Kappa Gamma, which raised over $1,000 for the Urban Ministry of Palo Alto. We sponsor Row Tutoring, a drop-in project in which our brothers offer peer tutoring free of charge to residents of the Row. As an organization, we volunteer 500 man-hours of community service each year.

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