Friday, February 1, 2008

Spell Czech, 1 February 2008 - Competition WITHIN an Organization is the Worst Kind

My Motorola Q holster broke a few days ago, and I had to order a new one, which I ordered online.

I received the following notification yesterday:

We thought you’d like to know that we shipped your items today, and that this competes your order.

Competes instead of completes? In a canned message that is going to many people? That's odd.

Or perhaps it was intentional. If so, I fully expect to get the following notification today:

Hello, this is the Blue Team. We thought you'd like to know that WE shipped your items today via next day air. This competes your order, so when the other slowpokes on the Red Team finally get their stuff to you via ground shipment, simply refuse it.

Of course, this will spark the following notification:

We thought you'd like to know that we, the original Red Team that shipped your order, and who has been committed to your order longer than any other team, have upgraded your order in transit to be delivered by Virgin Galactic. Stand by to receive your order within minutes.

Of course, by this time team 2 will have to resort to negative campaigning:

The old Red Team has old ideas. Originally they shipped your order via ground service, the same service that is the preferred choice of deadly domestic terrorists such as "Unabomber" Theodore Kaczynski. The old team then flip-flopped, showing a lack of conviction. Don't accept their shipment.

Team 1 will then step in:

The Blue Team has made outrageous statements linking us with the Unabomber. That's the type of dirty campaign that Tricky Dicky Nixon would have employed. Don't bring Watergate back to your cellp hone holster.

I think that by this point, I'll change my email address.

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