Friday, July 13, 2007

Now I see why they sell caffeinated beer

I was in a Stater Brothers (Southern California grocery store) the other day and noticed that they're now selling sport drinks with beer in them. The beer, the caffeine, the guarana, the whole bit. Wasn't sure why such things would be sold until today, when I read the following from Mrs. Loquacious.

If I was a boy,....

...and I liked beer, I would totally buy this....

This is a beer-bot. A beer-cooling/storing/serving robot. It apparently only works with cans, and costs about $800US, but I suppose if you were a beer-guzzling dude with a lot of extra cash on your hands, this would be a great gadget to buy.

This is the Asahi Beerbot, originating in Japan. There was a brief scare due to international canning standards, but it turns out that the robot accounts for the standards incompatibility:

It’s designed to work with Japanese sized cans (350ml), but has been tested with American-sized beer bullets (355ml) and worked just fine. No guarantee on other cans though....

Well, that bullet was dodged. But there's still one minor problem. Watch this video and you'll see what I'm talking about:

So, did you watch all of the video? All three minutes and forty-five seconds of it? How many guys are gonna sit around for four minutes and wait for a robot to pour a beer?

But some argue that the slowness is part of the robot's charm:

We know that it's slow, pours big head, and is utterly pointless.....that's why it's cool!!

I'm sorry, but to me this seems like something that a rich frat boy would buy, use for the first hour of a party, and then say "forget it."

So why do they sell caffeinated beer? Because after you've waited three-plus minutes for your beer, you need something to wake up.


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