A site called The Spoof (yes, it's called The Spoof) reported on July 24 that John Lennon was dead.
After hearing the tragic news we sent our US Correspondent Peter Musgrove to the Dakota, his luxury apartment building on Manhattan's Upper West Side, opposite Central Park.
Expecting to meet a ludicrously dressed Japanese bird our reporter was surprised when a middle aged man called Alfie Sage answered the door. He immediately informed us that he was Jewish.
"No-one by that name has lived here for ages Sir, you must have the wrong address already. My wife and I bought this apartment back in 1991. I think the previous owner was called Lance already ".
johnlennon
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