Linus Pauling, Wild Thing, Fingers in Your Ears

In this time of graduations, I have to state that Vitamin C's greatest contribution to society is NOT "Graduation (Friends Forever)" from 2000.

No, her greatest contribution is "Superstar USA" from 2004. If you missed this gem, here's part of a preview that ran at the time:

You can't change channels when you've got your fingers in your ears.

That's part of the evil genius of the WB's "Superstar USA," an un- talent show....

"Superstar" is just the latest TV prank show looking to turn a hit reality series inside out.

In the great grating tradition of "Joe Schmo," "Joe Millionaire," "Average Joe," "Boy Meets Boy" and "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance," the target this time is Fox's "American Idol." The devious premise is that the Kelly Clarksons and Ruben Studdards will be sent packing, while some deeply deluded William Hungs and John Stevenses will be encouraged by the panel of three judges to believe they're actually bound for stardom....

"I swear, the finale is the most incredible 20 minutes of television I've ever seen," executive producer Mike Fleiss told Daily Variety. "People will be calling their friends saying, 'You won't believe what they're doing.' "

Fleiss has good reason to want to take a shot across the bow of the Fox franchise. "Joe Millionaire" was just one of the similarly mean-spirited Fox takes on Fleiss' ABC hit, "The Bachelor." What goes around comes around....

[T]he judges -- all-but-forgotten '90s pop star Vitamin C, African-American recording industry insider Tone-Loc and hypercritical "Superstar" producer Chris Briggs -- dissed and dismissed those with even a scintilla of talent while lavishing praise on those who had no business with a microphone in their hands.

Christopher Briggs, who played the angry white guy on the show, was also involved with another hyperreality show a few years earlier. In the same year that Vitamin C was becoming the cool chick on high school campuses everywhere, Christopher Briggs was busy as one of the producers of "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire" - the show that featured Darva Conger and Rick Rockwell.

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